I FEEL LIKE A BAD MOTHER RIGHT NOW

  I FEEL SO BAD! SO BAD! SO BAD!

  This morning, I was feeling so tired and sleepy that I simply could not wake up to take my daughter to my mom's place.  My husband accompanied her in the morning instead of me. Usually, he plays with her and takes care of her till about 9 plus and my MIL will drive over to my place.  Together, we will send her to my mom's place. But this morning, I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I was up till very late since last weekend, sleeping at about 2-3 am every night. This morning, the fatigue was indescribable. So when my little girl told me to get up to go to my mom's place, I told her that I was very tired and Mama needed to sleep. She cried and climbed onto my bed and said, "抱抱!" I went forward to hug her in my dreamy state and told her, "You go to 婆婆's house later with Papa. Mama will see you tonight okay? 好不好?" She gave an unwilling reply,"好." And off she went with Papa to my mom's place.

  I was out in the afternoon for a once in a while KTV session with my friends.  After KTV session that ended at about 7.30 pm, I had dinner with them and had good catchup session. Dinner ended at about I think about 9 and happily, I accompanied my friend to a spectacle shop. I have totally forgotten my promise to my little girl! I even thought that I could finally have some time to do some window shopping in town and I planned to reach home at 10 plus.

  I text my husband at about 9 plus to tell him I'll be home at about 10 plus. It was then that my hub told me that my girl was crying for me. When my husband told her that she had to go to bed at about 9 plus, she asked my husband where I was. My husband just told her that I went to work, she said,"No, no." After she realised that she was not going to see me, she started to wail. Kel told me that she looked around the house for me and cried non stop. "She cried like how she did during the first three months when she was a baby," Kel said. Okay, that was bad. During the first three months, she cried so badly till we had to close our house windows to avoid disturbing the neighbours. Eventually, she fell asleep when she got too tired.

  When Kel asked me if I told her anything, then I remembered that I actually said that I would see her tonight. Oh man! I didn't know she would actually remember! And she could understand what I was saying.  She is only 2. And now, this is eating me up. This serves as a reminder to me not to forget promises made to a child. And not to underestimate a child's memory, even if she is only 2 years old.